00019:I was cheated by my friend to come out.....

    I always treat my friends honestly and friendly. However, one of my close friend broke the game rule yesterday. He was my colleague and also my close friend. We are working in the same group company. We knew each other last year and were enrolled to this company at the same time. We worked together for only one month and a half and then were assigned to the different outlets. Tough it is not convenient for us to see each other every day, we still keep close contact via msn, qq, or sms.

   He is a cute and lovely guy. I like him at the first sight of him. Frankly speaking, thats why i tried to be closer to him and then made friends with him. We shared a good happy time last week. We even stayed very closely during the three-week training course. He told me that their parents introduced him a girl for him and it was the first time for him to have so called girl friend. However, he said goodbye to her after one month later.

   He sent me a sms for greeting yesterday while I was really quite busy at that time. Hearing from him always made me so happy and excited that I replied him directly. I still joked with him and asked whether he had a girl friend yet. To my amazement, he told me he was a gay and questioned me if I were interested in him.

   I answered Yes.

   It was a trap. He cheated me. He suspected me for a long time. He even replied me a happy face symbol when kwowing the deepest secret of me.....

   I was crying when coming back home. I couldn't help crying. I just felt like that one of my close, beloved friend were getting away. And I am still not figuring out why he did it.

   My heart was broken again yesterday.

00018:Does it make any sense if you change yourself?

    I spend the whole day, sitting in front of the computer at the office and write a half year performance report for the manager.  Sometimes I wonder if i shall work like this for the whole of my life. I never like to do the job like this. I did not like economics since I was in the college. I even hated it when I was in my master degree study. I am constantly questioning myself why i chose to continue my further study in master degree of economics, why I was finally employed in this department. Though I always force me to endure a little bit more, I start to think where i shall go and how I spend the rest of my life. Currently, it's not the life I used to dreamed.

 

   I just saw an advertisement of VISA in TV. It's an American man dancing in the different cities across the world. I read more stories about him on local newspapers and Internet. I believe only Americans are able to do such sorts of things. We Chinese young people shoulder too much responsibilities and expectation from their family and society. They are taught to earn money for buying their own house, get marriage and breed babies as earlier as possible, take good care of their old parents, and also accumulate some money for illness and their own retirement life.

 

   There is an old saying that if you can not change the world, just change yourself. However, as far as i am concerned, it's just a bullshit. Does it make sense if you change yourself? Will you become happy if you always try to adapt yourselves this questionable society, especially in Shanghai, China?! 

 

   

00017: The sharply uprising price of housing in Shanghai

   If you thumb through the mainstream medias, newspapers or Internet website, you will find out that the price of house and apartment is rising day by day in Shanghai again these days. The newspapers are filled with reports and advertisements about the real estate, which attracts great attention by the citizens and help to launch a hot discussion about the housing issue in Shanghai. My colleagues talk about it everyday. And I even heard many people talking about it in the underground railway on my way to the office.

 

   As far as I(an ordinary 27 year old young people) am concerned, the uprising price of housing in Shanghai can only lead to a misery for me. I will never be able to afford buying an apartment in my life. 

 

    My salary is about 3000 RMB after tax. If I want to buy an apartment of 90 square meters which is located in urban, I have to pay for about 1,800,000 RMB now. It means I have to save all my salary for more than 25 years. But I should warn everyone that this calculation is excluded other economics factors or variation. 

 

    The actually current situation in Shanghai, or other cities in China, is that  the gross increase of the price of house and apartments in Shanghai is around 20% in the past five years. On the contrary, the gross increase of my salary is nearly 5%. 

 

    Well, just like Americans says, I shall hold on for the dear life  and continue enjoying the "happy" life staying with my parents. Further more, I shall always believe and trust the Communist Party, making a beautiful daydream that our lovely Communist Party will ever solve the problem in the future.

 

    How long is the future? Am I able to see it?!

 

 

 

00016:the day I went away....

    I am now sitting in front of my laptop to write this blog. It is so hot here in Shanghai. The temperature in the room is around 31 degree centigrade. The television set is switched on playing CNN News today. Writing a blog is my last thing I ask myself to do everyday before going for sleep, as I wish I could keep the proficiency of my English. On the other hand, these words posted on the Internet will demonstrate there is a ME living in this world.

 

   Turning back to the main point, it is the first day of the work this week. I always feel soooo sick on Monday. I think the reason is that I do not like what I am doing and sooo confused of my career in the future.

 

    I leave home at about 7:10 am and arrive at the office by the underground railway before 8:30. I should make several phone calls to my customers to deal with post-credit management or just keep contact. I have to write many reports to apply credit line for customers. And I also have to answer endless questions from some SMEs to solve settlements problems.Our salary is closely connected with the volume of deposit and loan of the customers I server for. This is the first thing that make me sick a lot. Further, which I feel mostly sick  and nasty is that WINE PLAYS A CRITICAL IMPORTANT ROLE IN MARKETING AND NETWORKING!!!!

 

    I HATE WINE!!

 

    I often finish my job and leave my office at around 5:30 pm and go for swimming for about 30 minutes to 45 minutes. I often watch CNN to practise my English and read newspaper in the evening......

 

    That's the day I go way, the ordinary day life of a 27 years old young man in Shanghai, China.

 

    HOPE YOU ENJOY IT:)

 

 

 

00015:visiting my grandparents

    Today is the National Dad's Day. I go to my grandparents home with my father and mother. It has been nearly half an year since I visited my grandparents last time. What impress me most today is I do realize my grandparents is old and nobody can not keep young forever.

 

    My grandfather was born in 1919 and my grandmother was born in 1923. Life is not easy for them now. As they refuse to stay in beadhouse, they have to take care of each other by themselves. They should prepare food,cook, clean the house and do other sorts of chores everyday. Everything seems to be difficult for them. When I chat with my grandparents and adivise them to employ someone to help with the house working, they reject. Perhaps what we think is totally different what they are considering.

 

    91 years old....How many years are left for my grandparents? I lied on bed yesterday and suddenly asked myself a question. If the god give me ten days left for living in this word, and can realize my ten wishes in the seperate day, what I shall live on the left ten days, what the ten wishes are?!

 

    I am 27 years old now. The earlier I make out a list of the ten wishes, the better life it may be for me in the future, I supposed, because I will know what is much important for me.

 

    Answer this puzzle in my next blog. I am tired now.....

 

 

00014: unsuccessful "rape" tells me that friend is much more important

     It has been one week since I invited one of my best friend coming to my home.  My parents were out for travel last week. I had a chance to stay at home alone. As it was unusual for me to have so much freedom and privacy room, I asked one of my friend L to come back home with me.
     L was one of my college classmate. We have knew each other for more than eight years. He is a eally cute guy, simple and easy going. We shared lots of happy time together in the four-year campus life. I always suspected that he was a gay at that time. Anyway, I knew I got the correct answer last year.
    When he arrived at my home, we opened TV and started to watch sorts of videos whiling chatting and joking. After warming for about an hour, I began to touch his arms, pat his head or push him gently in purpose. Finally I told him that I was going to hug him and hoping to stripe him of.
    To my disappointment, he refused and told me that friendship was much more important for him. We were too familiar with each other to do something like that.
    At the moment, when I am trying to going through all the memory again, I am questioning about something. Do real friendship or love between men? Do you believe gay-love? Do you put the sex or love on your boyfriend?
    I had to admit sex was getting more important for me before. I had believed love but was abandoned by love. It's too tired and difficult for me to find true love again. Sometimes sex was quite simple.
   Not until this unsuccessful rape did I realize that the existing of love, or the friendship between two men. We shall never rule out it, or we will have no difference with the animals in this world. For now, I wish I could say sorry to LMZ. 
   Good luck and best wishes.

00013: The Blogger is Blocked by Chinese Gov Again.

     I can not log on blogger.com these days. Though I did and never posted any blogs concerning about Politics Issues of the mainland China, the website is still sunk under the Internet now. I can not visit it, update my blogs or contact with others.

     The reason is relatively obscure. However everyone of us see it clearly now. Just like what I saw in CNN news.

     In order to practise my English, I start to watch Live CNN News by satellite.  It was amazingly for me to watch the report of Tiananmeng Crackdown on the day before June 4th.  I was only nearly ten years old at that time and can not remember anything about it. All I knew about this accident was from my parents or the elder people. Everything about this accident is full of mysterious. But I was really shocked when I saw the scene played in CNN News. Was It real?

    Anyway, as far as I am concerned, I am just an ordinary citizen, living peacefully and disciplining myself in accordance to every rule and regulation in China.
  
    I am always confused about the surroundings around me and also myself. Why do so many people living unhappily in Shanghai, China? Why am I suffering so much from this society?

    I wish I could find an answer one day! 

   Further more, this is the only way for me to update my blog via email. Sincerely wish someone could read this blog and give me some information back if you happen to see it.

    Best wishes and God bless me!!